Journey to The Return of the King
by Ashly Potter
Summary: Here it is! The Fellowship of the Movies is back! watch as they Journey to The Return of the King (movie). The Battle for Canon is about to begin...
1. The Movie is Open

A/N hello again one and all! Yes, it's time for the sequel, aren't you all excited. *Audience blinks and attempts to get away from the story.* Fine, be that way. Anyway! We now re-join our Fellowship, after they've seen The Two Towers, after they've seen The Chamber of Secrets, and after they've actually lived in Middle-Earth for a few years. I need a whole bunch of people for this, so anyone willing to join in. . .well, you'll see, but you have to join The Fellowship of the Movies first. Leave some names that you choose for yourself and I'll add you in the story (and on the website which I really need to get to work on).  
  
Hope you've all had a cheery Thanksgiving Holiday (it's actually not over yet, but, knowing me, this'll be up by next Friday . . .or after that even) and you feel like you're about to burst from all the food. Enjoy the story and give me feedback (whatever the feedback may be)  
  
Chapter 1: The Movie is Open  
  
"Look everyone! I can balance a pencil on my nose!" All the girls looked up and shook their heads; three years in Lothlorien and Sarah was still the same she'd always been.  
  
"I'm so friggin bored!" Chelsea yelled, playing with her shoelace. "Didn't we have something planned today?"  
  
"Probably, just can't remember what it is," muttered Andrea as she looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what it was they were supposed to do today. Let's see; it was December 17, Chelsea's birthday, right? But there was something else that they were supposed to remember, something that they knew they shouldn't forget (or somehow wouldn't forget, she didn't remember. The cold was getting to her.). That's when it suddenly hit her (and everyone else, too). . .  
  
"Return of the King!"  
  
"Duh!" said Niyati. "How could we forget that? We've been waiting for this movie forever!"  
  
"Can we dress for the occasion?" Becca asked Prachi, who just happened to be sitting right next to her.  
  
"Dress up in our stuff from Middle-Earth you mean?" Prachi asked with her eyebrow raised as she got up looking for her money as everyone else set out for tissues.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Well. . ."  
  
"Maybe we should pack them, but don't dress up 'till we get there or something," said Chelsea, poking her head from around the corner where she was looking for the cloaks. "Got 'em!" She dragged all eleven of them out of the closet and put them on the couch, grabbing her own out of the pile.  
  
All the girls were rushing around looking for tissues, money, and some other random stuff that they didn't really need but packed anyway. Sam grabbed the phone and called Glorfindel, Faramir, Arwen, Gollum, and Sauron. Arwen and Gollum would be there in a few minutes and Faramir, Glorfindel, and Sauron were meeting them at the dreaded 7-Eleven.  
  
"Bring the Luggage, too!" cried Pippin as she tried to wrench her bow out of Merry's hand ("Chelsea! You can't take it with you!").  
  
"And bring the Luggage, too," Sam repeated back into the receiver, then hung up and got her things.  
  
Once Arwen and Gollum had arrived with all their things, the group was on their way out the door.  
  
"What do you suppose will happen this time?" asked Eowyn as she finally pulled on her cloak and locked the door behind her.  
  
"Who knows," said Arwen, "but it should be interesting. What were you saying about a plan, Pippin?"  
  
"We're going to invade 7-Eleven," Pippin said, grinning. "We have to reclaim it as part of our own!"  
  
"Ok Pippin," said Gandalf, "tone down on the angst." Pippin stuck her tongue out at her and put her helmet on.  
  
"Where'd you guys get the cool cloaks?" asked Gollum, circling Sam and admiring the Elvish work.  
  
"Lord of the Rings store," Boromir muttered almost automatically. It was the excuse for everything they had acquired on the trip, and it was a very good excuse.  
  
"With this we ride forth," said Legolas as she got on her bike. "The Battle at 7-Eleven is about to begin. . ."  
  
~~~  
  
A/N Yesss. . .the Battle at 7-Eleven! This story will be fairly longer then the other two, of course (but most likely not as long as Plot-holes, Canon, and Middle-Earth). Legolas pretty much summed up a lot of chapters in that last quote. Though, it won't only be 7-Eleven. We're going to have a whole bunch of little battles. I'll give the whole 'war' an official name. . .as soon as I think of one. Merry Christmas! My Birthday is December 17th! Yay!  
  
~Fawkes 


	2. 7Eleven

A/N In advance I'd like to apologize for my crappy updating. If you want me to update faster, get a ban on all M/P slash, because they started disturbing me a while ago, and now I'm losing brain cells because I'm banging my head on the desk too much. And, while you're at it, all pointless humor stories that end up killing Arwen or just degrade any character from Lord of the Rings.  
  
Anyway! Now that the Rant is over, I can get started on the actual story. Ok, I'm going to need to build an army! Mwehehehe! Basically, this whole war thingy is a war on fangirls who go see the movies for 'Leggy' or some crap like that. Andrea/Legolas could probably be classified as a fangirl, but I am (at the moment) beating it out of her with a copy of the books. Same with Niyati/Eowyn. If any fangirls/Mary-Sue authors would like to join the other side, feel free, I'm going to have a hell of a time thinking up people without pulling them from my Original Story.  
  
On with the show! (Yes, finally, I know I rant a lot...)  
  
Chapter 2: 7-Eleven  
  
"Why 7-Eleven?" asked Arwen. "Why do we go to 7-Eleven? Aren't we all banned from that store?"  
  
"Well, of course!" said Pippin, a big grin on her face. "But it's so much fun to annoy them to no end."  
  
The rest nodded. "They'll give up at some point," Gandalf assured them as they approached 7-Eleven. When they got there they could all see Glorfindel and Faramir with the Luggage, but Sauron was no where in sight. "Where's Sauron?" asked Sam who was acquiring the all to familiar trait of repeating what the author just said.  
  
Both Faramir and Glorfindel looked towards the ever foreboding 7-Eleven doors where Sauron came running out of about a minute later. "Touchy lot, aren't they?" Saroun sat down on the bench next to the store, ready to hear what had called this 'meeting' of the Fellowship. Once one has joined the Fellowship of the Movies, it becomes increasingly obvious that the opening of an important movie, such as Return of the King, did not merely mean that they were going to see the movie, but rather also accomplish something on the way.  
  
Or something like that anyway. The author could also be making up crap just to get the story going and to have as many plot-holes filled as possible before she actually gets on with the main point of the story (if one such point even exists).  
  
It was just then that a group of girls walked by, giggling madly at something the front leader was holding. The Fellowship noticed this right away, because the thing they were holding was a little plastic Legolas doll.  
  
"Isn't he sooo hawt!" one of the girls screamed. "Totally!" said another, and they starting giggling again. Besides the girls being obvious fangirls (and of the worst kind), they also seemed to be trying to see if Legolas' clothing came off, which greatly disturbed the entire Fellowship, and the author who has suddenly and for some unknown reason decided that she should be an honorary character despite the fact that she is, in fact, Pippin.  
  
"What are you doing to that poor doll!" screamed Legolas as she pulled away the little plastic doll.  
  
"We're just trying to see if he's anatomically correct!" said the front leader as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"I wouldn't let them near Fanfiction.Net," muttered Sam. "Obvious 'Sue authors." Having lived in Middle Earth for a few years, Sam and the rest of the Original members didn't like Sue authors too much. The other Fellowship members silently agreed with Sam, and then they grew shocked that Sam actually said something intelligent and not like someone who had just taken, as Laree would say, 'happy pills.'  
  
Now, by this time, Legolas was screaming at the girls trying to tell them how disgusted she was with them, while the rest of the Fellowship watched in amusement. It wasn't until the girls insulted the books themselves that all of the Fellowship got involved.  
  
"You're all just dorks!" one of them finally yelled and the girls stormed off while Pippin and Legolas yelled some rather. . .er. . .colorful things at them in Elvish and Westron.  
  
"Ok guys," said Faramir she glared at the girls retreating backs. "We don't have time for losers like them who don't have good come backs, lets just get the. . .wait, why are we down here?" Faramir had just voiced the question of several of the other Fellowship members as well and they all started voicing their confusion also. Legolas recovered and looked at everyone else, "We've come to make our war. . ."  
  
A/N Well...that's the beginning. Not much, but the next chapter the war will start. . .I think. . .well, anyway, enjoy this while you can!  
  
Fawkes 


	3. The Muster of Fangirls and Fellowship Me...

Chapter 3: The Muster of Fangirls and Fellowship Members

            "The nerve of those girls," Legolas mumbled angrily, comforting the poor doll she'd saved.

            "Stupid fangirls," muttered Pippin.

            "We need to do something," said Gandalf. They all looked at each other, and at the time, knew what they had to do; they had to wage war on the fangirls.

            "What's the plan?" Sam asked.

            "Well," Gandalf continued, "we'll need to get a bunch of people to go against them, we might even be able to take them by surprise."

            "Doubtful," Aragorn cut in, "the fangirls will find out, they've got this sixth sense for these kinds of things."

            "But so do people like us," Gollum replied cheerfully. "Er…right?" Everyone else merely shrugged.

            "Where do we…er…make our war?" Sauron asked uncertainly.

            "Right here is good," Eowyn said, glaring at 7-Eleven.

            "Yes," said Merry, "we'll wage war on both fangirls _and_ 7-Eleven."

            "It's the war to end all wars!" declared Galadriel. Silence overcame the group. "Sorry," she muttered, "got a little carried away."

            "The fangirls are too many though!" yelled Sam, "We'll need more then just us fans of books to defeat an army that big. And they have 7-Eleven on their side too!"

            "Then we'll call in reinforcements," Frodo said simply. "I mean, Zainy Brainy and Best Buy are still with us, right?"

            "Yes!" Arwen clapped and startled everyone. "We wage our war with every ally on our side. Keeping in mind that the fangirls are many and have a safe-hold; 7-Eleven."

            "Is that our plan then?" Glorfindel asked uncertainly.

            "Yes," said Pippin, looking distracted, "but not all the fangirls are from Lord of the Rings, there will be fangirls from The Matrix, Harry Potter, and even those anime cartoons that I never seemed to get." Sam muttered something under her breath that sounded like, 'well, I like them,' but no one was really paying any attention.

            "So…Battle for the Canon?" asked Aragorn. Pippin shrugged, "The fangirls will bring everyone they can, and we should do the same."

            For a moment, everyone stood in silence, then, "Wait, how do we even know anything is going to happen?" Gimli asked skeptically. Pippin pointed to where she had been staring the past few minutes and everyone looked. Hords of girls were grouping on the other side of 7-Eleven with various pictures of various guys on their shirts with little hearts surrounding them. "Oh…" everyone else sighed simultaneously.

            "Well," Merry said slowly, "at least we're not becoming senile."

            "What's the number of Best Buys again?" mumbled Eowyn absentmindedly as she searched through her phone for the number. Therefore, much planning then commenced; from calling Best Buy and Zainy Brainy to making their own makeshift fort in the trees by 7-Eleven. To trying to figure out what kind of weapons to use in the Battle for Canon. "Anything and everything," Faramir answered to the latter question.

            "What else do we need to plan?" asked Sam.

            "Well," Pippin said, looking out towards the fangirls, "now we just wait."

            "Wait for what?" Frodo asked, looking beyond the trees with them.

            "Wait for them to make the first move," Merry answered. "They'll probably start with something like eggs."

            "Why eggs?" Pippin asked with her nose scrunched up.

            "Oh, you know, things lying around that come in large quantities," Merry answered lazily.

            "Best Buy and Zainy Brainy are on their way," Eowyn said, running up to join everyone else. "Sheesh, those girls have been multiplying!"

            "Well, of course," Legolas said absentmindedly, "think of the girls at our school! And that's just one of them."

            "Ah," replied Eowyn, "very true."

            So the Fellowship sat down around their makeshift fort, rightly named 'Headquarters,' which apparently was some inside joke between Aragorn and Pippin. The fangirls did indeed multiply, but the Fellowship figured they could take them…

            …somehow.

A/N Another chapter done! It's not very long, but I'm not very big on writing long chapters when they're not of my Original Story. Plus, I'm lucky to get anything up right now because it's such a hectic month! I'll post as soon as I can!


	4. The Last Debate

Chapter 4: The Last Debate  
  
It wasn't long before everyone arrived. The original eleven members of the Fellowship greeted their Order (of the Movies) members and introduced them to other Fellowship members. What surprised the Order members was that Rick, a very uptight employee for Best Buys, was there.  
  
"I'm only here because it's my lunch break and my co-workers threatened me," Rick mumbled. The co-workers merely grinned.  
  
"Alright troops!" called Aragorn. "Since I was named after a King, I will be leader of this army."  
  
"Hell no!" yelled Gandalf. "I am the Wizard, therefore I shall be leader."  
  
"No way!" yelled Best-Buy-Worker Rachel. "I've loved the Lord of the Rings books since I was four! Therefore I am leader!"  
  
"I'm the oldest one here!" Zainy-Brainy-Worker Brian said loudly. "Therefore, I shall lead!"  
  
As everyone argued about whether or not they should be the rightful leader, Pippin sighed, grabbed a big cow bell (where they got it, the world may never know), and shook it. The cow bell rang so loudly that everyone stopped talking and looked at Pippin.  
  
"I am creator of both the Fellowship of the Movies and the Order of the Movies. Therefore, I am the rightful leader." Everyone stared at Pippin for a minute, trying to think of a way to fight back her logic (or non- logic, whatever you want to call it). Eventually they gave in. "Thank you. Anyway! I have just seen the fangirl leader approach Headquarters, should we let her in and see what she wants?" Everyone shrugged. Pippin took that as a 'yes' and let the fangirl leader in.  
  
As the author, I will now switch to Mary-Sue form and describe every little detail of the Fangirl.  
  
Then I'll edit it all out in post production.  
  
"My name is Tina," announced the Fangirl, "and I've come."  
  
"Why?" asked Cho.  
  
"Oh...um...well...I've, just come."  
  
"Right," Pippin said slowly, "what do you want?"  
  
Tina regained her grace and looked at Pippin. "I've come to speak with you leader on behalf of the Lusters."  
  
"You're looking at her."  
  
"Ah...I see..."  
  
"Would you stop with the goofy way of speaking!" Sam groaned. "It's really annoying."  
  
"Oh, um, alright then. Well, anyway, like, why'd you take away our Leggie doll?" The entirety of Headquarters twitched at the word 'Leggie,' but Legolas herself answered anyway.  
  
"You were torturing the poor doll!" she yelled. "Trying to take its clothes off!"  
  
"Well, like, we wanted to, like, see if it was anatomically correct!" Once again, Headquarters twitched.  
  
"We here do not take kindly to fangirls and Sue Authors," growled Aragorn. Sauron snapped a twig, as if to show what exactly they all wanted to do to the fangirls right now.  
  
"My character is, like, not a Sue!" Tina wailed.  
  
"Right, we're sure she isn't," Faramir snapped.  
  
Tina glared at the group collectively and regained her grace once more. "I see that we have reached a disagreement."  
  
"Indeed we have," said Pippin, "we are True fans of the works of Tolkien, Rowling, Pratchett, and others while you are only in it for the guys."  
  
Tina huffed. "This means war."  
  
"Then let it be known that this was The Last Debate, and we are now at war," Boromir said.  
  
Tina turned towards Pippin. "Whoever loses may never write fanfiction ever again."  
  
"Agreed," Pippin said and held out her hand. Tina and Pippin shook on the deal. "The side who wins also gains power of this town and the next."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
As soon as Tina left, everyone started talking.  
  
"How are we going to win?" asked Zainy-Brainy-Worker Laura. "We don't have nearly as many people as we should!"  
  
"None of the True Fans are here yet except for your Fellowship and Order!" yelled Best-Buys-Worker Todd.  
  
"I told you this was pointless," muttered Rick.  
  
"Shut up!" everyone yelled.  
  
"What are we going to do, Harry?" Wormtail asked Pippin. And for your general confusment, the Fellowship will be called by their Order names by other members of the Order. (And if you didn't understand that, don't worry because neither did I.)  
  
"We're still far from matching the fangirls in numbers!" Eowyn said.  
  
Pippin sat there for a moment, biting her nails. "More will come." 


	5. The Seige of 7Eleven

A/N I'd like to make a quick reminder to anyone who wishes to appear in the war to include a nick name (or two) that they'd like to have. Or else, I can't very well put you in here, now can I? ;-)  
  
Chapter 5: The Siege of 7-Eleven  
  
There was much to do at Headquarters once Tina left. Half of Headquarters was filling up water balloons with various liquid substances while the other half built up Headquarters to look war-worthy.  
  
Andrea/Legolas has pushed the author aside and it now attempting to take over the story.  
  
Ne way! Over 7Eleven, teh beautiful fangirls where preparingfor teh ultimat war against teh meen ppl who dare insult there beautiful OCs wit there golden hair liek teh rays of the sun and porcilin skin and-  
  
Those responsible for the last paragraph have been sacked. We have now replaced fangirl!Andrea with Fellowship!Andrea/Legolas by hitting her over the head with a very large copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. You may now continue reading the story with out any fangirlish interludes.  
  
The Fangirls at 7-Eleven were preparing for the war by getting as many eggs and water balloons they could lay their little hands on. However, they did not possess the creativity of the Fellowship and therefore only filled the water balloons with water.  
  
Back at Headquarters the True Fans had gathered up all their weapons in a convenient wheelbarrow that someone had thought to bring.  
  
"We set off!" called Pippin. "To 7-Eleven!" And with that, they set off.  
  
The Fangirls, of course, were expecting their arrival. As soon as the True Fans entered their territory, they attacked.  
  
Water balloons were flying everywhere and both sides were hit badly. Unfortunately, it looked as if the True Fans were losing.  
  
"We're losing," Sam grumbled when the Fans returned to Headquarters.  
  
"Yes, Sam, thank you for pointing that out!" Pippin snapped in answer.  
  
"We need to sneak up on them somehow," Zainy-Brainy-Worker Laura said.  
  
Everyone thought of something. How were they going to sneak up on them? It's not like they could become invisible...  
  
Just then, Pippin had a plan...

_squgglestarsquiggle_  
  
Tina smiled. They were obviously winning.  
  
"We, like, so totally beat them!" cheered Erin the Fangirl.  
  
Tina sat down on one of the rocks surrounding 7-Eleven and-  
  
Wait a minute, 7-Eleven never had rocks in front of it. Come to think of it, rocks weren't that squishy. And they don't laugh either.  
  
"Surprize!" Pippin, Boromir, Sam, and Galadriel threw back their cloaks from Lorien and attacked. A minute later, the rest of the Fellowship rushed forward with the others behind them throwing water ballons and squirting with squirt-guns.  
  
Unfortunatly, the Fangirls still out-numbered them. "Attack!" Tina cried. The Fangirls rushed forward with eggs and water ballons and attacked the Fellowship.  
  
The scene you are now picturing in your head can be more accurately described as something from either Troy or King Arthur.  
  
The battle raged. The Fellowship fought. The Fangirls squeeled. And the workers inside 7-Eleven hid in their little corners trying to get far away from the fight and stay hidden.  
  
It was then that everyone heard a strange sound over the parking lot. Everyone looked up....


	6. The Ride of the True Fans

Chapter 6: The Ride of the True Fans

Everyone looked up and saw a mass of teens and twentysomethings. And leading the pack, was none other then...

"Malfoy?"

Draco Malfoy (also known to the general public as Rees) stood there in his Matrix-like attire with that smug grin of his. "Fans of the true plot!" The masses behind him tensed. "Attack!" The next 40 seconds were interesting and confusing and later were played in slow motion by an interested bystander with a video camera.

Malfoy and his mob rushed forward and attacked; some with water guns, some with water balloons, and some had those stupid plastic light-sabers. At the same time, the Fellowship and their mob rushed forward to join them. And in the parking lot of 7-Eleven, they fought for the freedom of canon.

Eventually, the fangirls retreated and the Fellowship went back to Headquarters, but the battle was not yet won...

"What do you mean you have 'demands'!?" Legolas exclaimed.

"I just want my name changed," Malfoy said calmly, smirking.

"To what?" Pippin asked.

"Well, since I'm not a fan of Harry Potter, I'd like to be something from The Matrix."

Gandalf sighed, "Let me guess, you want to be Neo."

"If it's not too much trouble..."

"Whatever," the Fellowship said in unison and then they walked off to take care of things that needed to be taken care of.

Luthien, one of Malfoy/Neo's mob looked around at Headquarters. "What exactly are we planning to do?"

Lindy from Best Buy shrugged, "I only came because I saw an opportunity to annoy one of my co-working and get a break."

"Who's your co-worker?"

"The one over there that's always complaining."

"I have no idea what you people plan to accomplish with this...this..._war_ of yours," Rick spat, "but I no longer wish to be apart of it." And with that, Rick stormed out of Headquarters.

Rachel looked at her watch. "I give him five minutes before he runs back screaming about annoying teenaged girls."

"I give him 30 seconds," muttered Wormtail. But Rick did not return...instead, about 20 seconds later, everyone heard a distinctively man-girly scream from 7-Eleven.

"I'd say that's even better!" Todd grinned. Pippin rolled her eyes.

"We still have a lot to do," Faramir said. "We need a group to get more water balloons and another to get other assorted weaponry and yet another to find more things to throw at the fangirls because we're running out of ammunition."

"How exactly do we win this war anyway?" asked Finduilas.

The Fellowship of the Movies smiles. "Don't worry," Aragorn said. "We have a plan."

"Would you mind shedding some light for the rest of us?" Sauron asked.

"Nope," said Legolas, "it's a plan we came up with a awhile ago."

"It's fool proof!" Merry smiled.

"Somehow that doesn't reassure me..."

"Hello!?" Faramir said angrily. "Matters need to be taken care of! Come on everyone, lets get to work!"

Meanwhile, over at 7-Eleven...

"I have no idea what your talking about! What is fanfiction? And what the hell is your obsession with this Legolas!?" Rick yelled. He was starting to really regret ever leaving the place they had called 'Headquarters' and he had dubbed 'Home of the Crazy'.

The entirety of teenaged girls (which the Crazy had called Fangirls) gasped. "Don't insult Orli!" one of them yelled.

He never really thought teenaged girls could be _this_ annoying. He had heard stories, sure. Had heard a few things while walking around, yes. But the last teenaged girls he had really talked to were those crazy girls back at 'Headquarters', and they at least didn't squeal and gasp at the mention of an actors name!

"Put him in the store!" one of the Fangirls (probably the leader) called out. And with that, a bunch of girls came forward and shoved Rick into 7-Eleven.


	7. The AntiFangirl and the Crazy One

Chapter 7: The Anti-Fangirl and the Crazy One

"So...how long have you been in here?"

"Couple of hours," Saphira said. Rick 'hum'ed and stared out the window again. "My sister is one of the Fangirls. I never actually got to be in the war because she just kind of shoved me in here before I even got the chance."

Rick nodded and kept staring at the window. "Is anyone else here?"

"7-Eleven workers are hiding upstairs."

"How long do you think we'll be in here?"

"A very long time"

_linebreak_

"We've got balloons!"

"Water balloons?"

"No," Sam said, "regular balloons!"

Faramir blinked, and then thought for a moment. "Fill then up."

Sam smiled and led her 'troops' over to the water fountain.

"How're we doing?" Pippin asked as she walked over.

"We've got everything but one."

"What's that?"

"A plan."

Pippin sighed. "Don't worry, we've got it all figured out."

"I worry. We have no idea what's going on!"

"That's alright."

Faramir shook her head. There was no way she was going to get anything out of Pippin and she wasn't going to try anymore

Legolas then came over with the Legolas doll (which she declared 'mini-me'), humming some overly cheerful tune and making sure everyone was doing their job.

"Is she alright?" Sauron asked.

"She just knows what's coming," Eowyn said as she walked past.

"Yeah," Faramir muttered. "I wish the just of us did, too."

_linebreak_

"I spy something that is wearing Orlando Bloom's face."

"Is it the one on the right?"

"No, the other one."

"Ah..."

Rick and Saphira had been playing 'I Spy' since the Fangirls were congregating outside the front door of 7-Eleven.

"You know, I wasn't supposed to be apart of this," Rick said.

"Then why are you?"

"Well, my co-workers thought it'd be funny if they dragged me down here."

"Where do you work?"

"Best Buy."

More silence followed this conversation as they kept staring out 7-Eleven.

"Do you think we'll be rescued?" Rick asked.

"Nope."

_linebreak_

"Alright! Who gave Sam the caffeine?" Gandalf yelled. Everyone shifted uneasily in their place.

"Um...you said that caffeine sometimes calms down really hyper people?" Laura said hopefully.

Gandalf twitched as Sam screamed 'Wheee!' and jumped around in her jacket which a couple of people had made into a make-shift strait-jacket.

Arwen sighed and shook her head. She _knew_ it had been a bad idea, but had anyone listened to her? No!

"What should we do?" Gimli asked.

Merry thought for a second, then grinned. "I have a plan."

Cue weird Potter Puppet Pals music.


	8. The Land of Shadow

A/N The 8th chapter…finally. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 8: The Land of Shadow

"Finally! Action!" Saphira said excitedly as she looked out the window to see the Fellowship attacking with water balloons and what looked to be a tall, red-headed girl.

A couple of Best Buy workers then pressed their faces to the window and started pointing and laughing at Rick.

Through the window, the co-workers could just barely hear Rick as he started yelling and cussing. They did eventually open the door and free Rick and Saphira.

"What the hell is going on?" Rick asked as he watched Sam run around the parking lot and knocking everything and everyone over while Pippin and Merry struggled with full water balloons.

"We're attacking the fangirls, what does it look like?"

The Fellowship was shouting commands to each other as they maneuvered through the parking lot, getting all the fangirls with water balloons and stealing junk.

"It looks like you've all gone crazy."

"Can I join in?" Saphira asked.

"If you wait a moment; we're almost out of water balloons and we'll be going back to Headquarters soon," Eowyn said as Sam noticeably started winding down. Half the group then started heading back as the other half helped Merry and Pippin get rid of the remaining water balloons and try to catch Sam. Five minutes later, everyone was back at Headquarters celebrating victory.

"We won! We won!" Faramir chanted as she punched the air.

"We haven't won yet," said Frodo. "There's still a couple of things that we have to do."

"And one of them involves leaving temporally," Galadriel said as she started heading out with the rest of the Original Fellowship.

"Don't worry!" Gandalf called. "We'll be back!"

"Faramir's in charge while we're gone," Pippin said, "see ya!" And with that, all eleven of them were gone.

Neo grinned. "Finally! Now, I have some ideas, see-"

"Neo, shut up," Faramir interrupted.

"What are we going to do?" asked Amy from Zainy Brainy.

"We can't do anything until they get back," said Cho. "We have no idea what they're planning."

Rick only half listened as everyone kept arguing. He was looking around to see where Saphira had gotten to. "Saphira?" he half whispered.

"What?"

Rick turned around and saw a girl who sort of looked like Saphira, only there were slight differences like the height and the hair.

"No, no. I said _Saphira_. Do you know where she is?"

The girl was steadily getting frustrated. "Yes! Right here!"

"Then who's the other girl?"

"_What_ other girl? I'm the only Saphira here!"

It was then that it finally hit him. "Have you seen your sister lately?"

Saphira, the _real_ (okay, not the real, real one, but you know what I mean) Saphira, looked at Rick rather oddly. "Not since I joined with Neo. She said she wanted to join the fangirls, but I doubt she ever did. How did you know I had a sister?"

Rick looked around again. This wasn't good…

"Who the hell are you and _what_ do you think you're doing?" came Wormtail's voice from behind. Everyone turned around to see a girl standing there, obviously trying to sneak out with the wagon that had all the stuff in it.

"I am Marcella Angalene Xaviar!" she declared proudly. Saphira groaned.

"Stupid fangirls," muttered Glorfindel. Wormtail took the wagon from Marcella and rolled her eyes.

Marcella stood there for a second, looking as if she was about to run, but before she did, Marcella turned around and called, "Don't worry Rick! I'll be back for you!" And then she left.

Rick looked horrified while everyone else burst out laughing thinking it was the most hilarious thing they'd ever heard.

"Rick has a fangirl!" all the Best Buy workers chanted in between laughter.

After the first shock, and then the uncontrollably laughter, Rick was officially humiliated. "That's it!" he said, "I'm going back to work!" And with that, he started to walk away (the other way this time).

"Aw!" said David from Best Buy. "but your fangirl must return for you!" Rick made some very rude gestures behind his back as he walked away while the rest of Headquarters started laughing uncontrollably again.

"Alright, alright," Faramir finally said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Come on everyone, let's get back to work."

"And try and think of what this crazy plan of the Fellowships' is," muttered Neo.

And so, Headquarters set to work. On what, they weren't quite sure, but at least it was something.


	9. The Fangirls Attack

Chapter 9: The Fangirls Attack

There was a general business about Headquarters. The water balloons were being filled, the eggs loaded, and many sets of water-proof ponchos bought. No one there still had and idea what the Fellowship was planning, but keeping busy kept them from killing each other and Faramir had decided that this was A Good Thing.

"All the water balloons are filled!" Glorfindel said as she and several others set down boxes full of water balloons. Faramir nodded and looked around; trying to see who else might be done with their chores. As it turned out, everyone else was ready, too. Now all they needed was the Fellowship and their 'brilliant' plan.

"Does anyone know when the Fellowship is coming back? I'm getting bored."

Faramir jumped and looked at the girl standing next to her. "Where the crap did you come from and who are you?"

"I'm Shadowfax; I came with the Neo group."

"I can vouch for that!" Neo shouted from across Headquarters. Faramir nodded and returned to her work. Since the…unfortunate incident with Saphiras' sister, Faramir was making sure she kept tabs on everyone (which eventually meant making all the Best Buy and Zainy Brainy workers put their nametags back on).

"Anyway!" Shadowfax continued. "Do you know when the Fellowship is coming back?"

"I didn't even know they were going to leave," Faramir confessed. "Why?"

"Well, first because we're all getting bored. Second, because I think the fangirls are trying a sneak attack."

Faramir rolled her eyes. A sneak attack…what was this spat coming to? It wasn't as if any of them could attempt a sneak attack, but at least they weren't stupid enough to try anyway.

Luthien, Todd, and Laura set up three groups around the place to capture the fangirls when they got there, everyone else started working fast on a quickly developed new plan.

"Here's the deal," Faramir said to the crowd of remaining fans, "we don't know where the Fellowship is and we don't know what their plan is, but it looks as if the fangirls are going to try and attack us now."

"I see their IQ has raised a bit," muttered Rachel.

Faramir continued. "What we have to do is attack them as their coming."

"How exactly do we attack them?" Arwen asked. "I mean, we can hit them with water balloons and eggs all we want, but this isn't actual warfare, you don't win by how many of your troops are still alive."

Silence. Faramir thought about this (and the truth in it) and suddenly realized what the Fellowship was planning…

_(linebreak)_

"Shh! They're going to see us!"

"Oh, don't worry, they're too busy."

"Hee…boxers…"

"SH!"

The Fangirls not-so-quietly crept up on to the Fans, trying to attack them from behind when they weren't looking. Not that you already didn't know that, I just thought I'd inform you of this once again in case you forgot over the period of thirty seconds. You could have the memory of a goldfish, who knows?

Anyway! As the fangirls approached, something told them this would be something of a last stand, and if their plan worked the Fans would finally go away…

_(linebreak)_

"Hurry up you slackers!" Pippin called over her shoulder as she and Legolas lead the others back towards Headquarters.

"You don't think we're too late, do you?" Gandalf asked.

"We're cutting close, but I don't think it's _too_ late," Galadriel answered, quickly glancing down at her watch, which was currently counting down to something.

"Think Faramir figured it out?" Merry asked.

"I hope someone did…" muttered Aragorn.

"Less talking more running!" Legolas yelled. Galadriel was right; they were cutting it pretty close…

_(linebreak)_

"Everyone! Places!" Luthein whispered to her group as they all hid behind anything they could find, listening to the fangirls show up.

There was a faint snap of a twig to their right, and then a crunching of leaves to their left. Luthien smiled, there was no way they could attack them from both ends and get away with it!

It wasn't until Luthien saw the ones and front and heard more from the back did she know that the Fangirls might have gotten smarter and the Fans were in trouble.

_(linebreak)_

"Where were you!" Faramir demanded as the Fellowship ran into the clearing that was Headquarters.

"No time," Sam simply said.

Something moved ahead of them and all the Fans stopped. More movement; the Fangirls were here.

Galadriels' watch beeped.


End file.
